Sale City Church Blog

Summary of Patrick’s message on Sunday 9 October 2011:

Relationships are the single most important thing in our lives. God has designed us to be relational beings, it’s wired into our psyches.

There are a few key relationships that impact hugely on our life:

Relationship with Mum: In the earliest stages of life the comfort, security and nurture given by mum imparts a sense of assurance in the child.

Relationship with Dad: Dad imparts a sense that “it can be done, you’re not alone, and I believe in you.”

Relationships with peers: Gives you a sense of acceptance, brings accountability and gets you through the ups and downs of life.

Relationship with life partner: Becoming the best kind of you through the push and pull of close relationship.

But it isn’t a perfect world and when these significant relationships fail we can react in different ways. Some of us become work addicts where no one’s approval is ever sufficient and our worth is bound up in achieving more and more. Others struggle with stress and live on an emotional roller coaster, suffer a lack of identity, get lost in the crowd or struggle to trust others for fear of being hurt again.

As a kid I was always a bit different. Mum and dad put such an individuality and creativity in us and were accepting of whatever we wanted to do. But kids at school weren’t always so accepting. I always loved to sing and I remember getting up in front of my grade 1 class and singing “Tomorrow” from Annie. I had my socks pulled up, my shirt tucked in and facial ticks so you can imagine I easily became the subject of teasing!

We’ve probably all gone through something like that in our childhood and as we grow up we try to leave it behind us and forget about it. But those dynamics leave an impression on you and set a pattern in your life. So after a few years what happens is a person becomes shut down. So at high school I was just quiet. You learn to adapt and survive in what can be a harsh environment but you aren’t yourself.

But God designed us and He knows us inside out. Our current relationships are temporary and our relationship with Him is eternal. God wants to become our Father.

“For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba Father”. The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children then heirs – heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we might also be glorified together.”

ROMANS 8:15-17

We are on a journey in life and it’s about discovering God as our Father. Here are some key steps along on that journey:

1. Acknowledging our deep need for God. We were created with a deep longing for God.

“Countries like ours are full of people who have all the material comforts they desire, together with such non-material blessings as a happy family, and yet lead lives of quiet and, at times, noisy desperation, understanding nothing but the fact that there is a hole inside them. And however much food and drink they pour into it, however many motorcars and television sets they stuff it with, however many well-balanced children and loyal friends they parade around the edges of it, it aches.” Bernard Levin –English journalist, author and broadcaster.

“The deepest search in life, it seemed to me, the thing that in one way or another was central to all living was man’s search to find a father, not merely the father of his flesh, not merely the lost father of his youth, but the image of strength and wisdom external to his need and superior to his hunger, to which the belief and power of his own life could be united.” Thomas Wolfe – American novelist

2. Learning to depend on and accept His love for us.

“Who walks in darkness and has no light? Let him trust in the name of the Lord and rely upon his God.”

ISAIAH 50:10a

Do you learn to depend on someone when everything is peachy or when it’s tough?

God knows there are times in our life when things aren’t good and it’s like we are walking in darkness, unsure of which way to go or how to respond. He tells us to walk through it and He will be our light.

Christianity isn’t about us reaching up trying to attain something unattainable. It’s about God reaching out to us through His Son Jesus and us accepting and responding to that.

3. Becoming changed and transformed out of relationship with Him. The Bible describes us as heirs of God. So for example, when your father passes away you receive the inheritance he left you. But while your father is alive there is another type of inheritance flowing into your life that is more valuable than possessions. He passes down his values, his love, his life lessons and wisdom. So if we are heirs of God the attributes of God are flowing into our life already. His righteousness, unconditional love, healing. We don’t have to wait to receive these things, they are available now, and they all come out of a relationship with Him, when we discover God as our Father.

Patrick McIvor

A snippit from Simon’s message on Sunday 2 Oct 2011:

I came from a pretty broken family environment. I remember the day after my birthday, which was my actual birthday, my dad left. After that, mum was working three jobs to pay the mortgage and was out nights aswell. My childhood was turbulent. But I remember my Dad telling me a story about the restoring power of Jesus and it just blew me away.

When I was seven, I remember getting down on my knees (because I had seen that somewhere and thought it was the thing to do) and praying to ask Jesus to be in my life. It was honestly like the clouds parted and I felt different from that day. That really got me through the tough years that followed. Through a series of awful events where God really lead me and preserved me, I ended up at this church. They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well this church raised me.

The interesting thing was that after all the turmoil had settled, things got difficult on the inside of me. I knew deep down that church wasn’t the problem and that it was internal dynamics on the inside of me. It was a pattern set by the people that had hurt me but it had me running around in circles.

One major issue was the issue of rejection. Even though I had a place to belong, I was relating from a place of rejection and it caused me to cause friction. I would over react because I was afraid of being rejected again. I went through a time where I really didn’t like myself and where my self esteem was really bad. I was probably 20 or 21 before I got through it. But I got through it. The life I am living now is a life that I never ever through possible. Here are a few points that helped me get through.

1. God encounter. I remember Pastor Brian preaching a message about God encounter and how you cannot encounter God and remain the same. He spoke about Moses, Abraham, Jacob/Isaac and these Biblical figures who were utterly transformed by their God encounter. God changed their name, their nature and their destiny. I realised that I qualified! I was an underdog! I set my heart on encountering God and he really met with me. I went through a season of amazing encounter. The Bible says “draw near to God and he will draw near to you.” And it’s true! He does! God was touching my heart and going so deep.

2. Finding your identity in God. Pastor Brian sat me down one day, knowing I was struggling with the lack of a father, and said “You will find a revelation of God being your Father. Press in for that revelation.” I was thinking ‘yeah well that is great but I want a real dad.’ But I didn’t have a choice. I had to listen. When you get a revelation of God and his nature, you find your identity in that. That revelation shapes your identity and gives you your life’s purpose. I realised that everything I needed was in God and in the revelation of God. I realised that I was actually loved and cherished by God! I had no idea how God could love me so much. He treasured me. He loved me so much. He loved me unconditionally. That revelation of Him was all I ever needed.

Every deficiency in your life: he fills it.

3. Forgive. Repent. Surrender. I had to forgive all the people who have hurt me. I really felt like I didn’t have the capacity to do it but God took me through a process. There is nothing that we are going through that Jesus hasn’t already felt. Jesus felt betrayal and rejection and yet he forgave. I realised to I could forgive too. I had to repent for the things on the inside of me. Then I had to come to the point of surrender. Sometimes you feel like you have already forgiven, repented and surrendered and it hasn’t worked. Jesus’ answer to the fisherman when they said in Luke 5 “We have already done that” was to send them into the deeper water. Sometimes we have to go deeper and fix it in the deepest part of you. I have learned to thank God for what I am going through because I know he will turn it around for good. When you go through trials it is your opportunity for breakthrough.

Don’t let it go so long before you respond to God and allow yourself to be healed. You will only be hurting yourself. Don’t wander around the mountain over and over again. You do have a choice. You do have a way out. The restoring power of Jesus is such an amazing thing. It is only your choice that can connect you with him again.

Heidi McIvor